Why do we fall, sir? So that we might learn to pick ourselves up
Even Batman falls on his arse from time to time. There’s no shame in it. It happens to everyone.
Life, you see, has it’s funny ways of knocking you flat on your backside from time to time. Sometimes it just comes right up in your face and cold-cocks you – bam! – and down you go.
Other times it’s sneakier about it, it tiptoes behind your back and you don’t see it coming.
You’re going along thinking everything’s just peachy, you feel happy, contented and comfortable, you’re making good progress and feel like you’re finally getting to where you want to be in life…
Then all of a sudden, right out of nowhere, you get completely blindsided by it.
You’re left there shell-shocked, flat on your ass with stars twinkling around your cranium wondering what the hell just happened.
If you’re down on your arse, this is how to get up
It’s like a wild animal, don’t take your eye off it, don’t turn your back on it and never, ever think you have it under control.
The best we can hope is to have ourselves under control. But if you think you have life under control you’re going to be sorry.
You can never tame life and whenever you start to think as you can, that’s when it’s going to take a huge big bite out of you.
You’re down on your arse? Then get up off your arse, get back on your feet.
That’s the first step right there.
Easier said than done, you might say – well not really. Arguably this is the easiest step, it doesn’t require any deep soul searching or elaborate planning and strategic thinking or anything like that.
It just requires a short burst of energy – mind over matter – it may be quite a strain, it might take superhuman strength.
But you need to get back up on your feet again because you can’t spend the rest of your life crawling on your belly like a worm.
Hear that voice in your head, that really loud oppressive one bellowing orders, insulting you and screaming at you to get up?
That’s your inner Drill Sergeant. You better do as he says, get up, stand to attention, salute – ready and reporting for duty SIR!
Getting back on your feet that’s more a set of mental and physical processes. The healing process, that’s the psychological bit, that’s the hard part.
Your recovery will depend a lot on your circumstances. If you’ve suffered a particularly nasty break-up then it will take some time to get back in the game.
You probably won’t want to, because you need more time to heal. If you’ve lost someone close to you, that too can take time. Remember that to grieve is healthy, but to shut yourself off completely is not.
If your problem is financial or material, rather than emotional, then you may need to focus more on the practical side of things.
You may have lost your job or business, you might have lost a great deal of money in a deal that went bad or a particularly nasty lawsuit – whatever it is.
You need to start healing yourself, and so, bit by bit, day by day, you need to start building your strength up, emotionally, financially and otherwise.
Once you’ve had some time to lick your wounds and heal yourself, at least enough that you can start moving again, now it’s time to get busy.
During your recuperation, you’ve had time to think and reflect, time to see where you went wrong and consider ways of fixing the situation.
Now’s the time to put those strands of thought into a real practical plan of action and then begin to implement it.
However much it still hurts you need to tell yourself that you will bounce back. Your plan of action shouldn’t just be about getting back to where you were but improving your life by learning from it and coming through your ordeal wiser and stronger than before.
Are you mad as hell and not going to take it anymore? You should be.
Some people tend to classify anger as a negative emotion, but really there are no such things as negative emotions, it’s how we act on them that counts. Anger is no exception.
Some of the greatest art and literature in the world was created out of anger. When groups of angry people gather together they can change the world.
It can topple tyrants and change politics for the better. Turn on CNN and you can watch it happening live.
Don’t let ‘em whack you on the nose and yank your tail.
Apathy is a passive emotion, it’s like a dog that rolls over.
Anger is a dog that bites back.
Batman turned a tragedy into a calling. His family were killed by criminals so he vowed to fight back against crime.
The fact is, sometimes you can’t move on from certain things until you feel there’s been some closure. That doesn’t mean you go out and get revenge, but it does mean you need to find equilibrium.
If someone does you wrong chances are, unless you do something about it, it will gnaw at you until the day you die. So you need to focus on positive ways to get compensation
For example, if your boss fired you for no good reason you might well have grounds for a wrongful dismissal case.
If some company screws you, take them on! Call up the press and tell them the story – they always love a good David and Goliath story.
In other cases, you might find the remedy is to help others. If you’ve gotten back on your feet after being down on your luck, you might find it beneficial both for yourself and for others, to give something back.
For you, it helps close the circle and give meaning and purpose to your life once more, and of course.
It allows people who are going through the same thing as you the chance to recover as you did. Sometimes all people need in life is for someone to cut them a break.
If there’s one thing we must all learn in this life, it’s when and how to ask for help.
After all, where would Batman be without his faithful butler Alfred? Most likely that great belfry in the sky.
Asking for help does not make you weak, it makes you wise – what’s more, it makes you human.
A lot of people let their situation deteriorate and are unable to get back on their feet because they’re too stubborn and proud to ask for help.
These are basic emotions, you must control them or they will control you.
If you need help ask for it. If what you require is professional help, such as counselling, then get it.
Don’t feel ashamed, wanting to get better is nothing to get ashamed about, but being too weak-willed to get the help you need when you need it, is.
Get Some Perspective
What happened to you may have been a terrible experience, perhaps even a tragedy, though remember that gem, “there’s always someone worse off than you?”
This particular voice comes from your inner grandmother, or whoever it was in your family that, whenever you didn’t lick your plate clean, would remind you of the starving children in Africa.
The point is there are people who are living in abject poverty all over the world but they’re still living, and fighting to remain so every day, they’re not brooding about how bad things are like you are.
There are still countries in the world where people do not have the freedom to express themselves as you do or to come and go as they please. But you do.
Or to put it another way, “It’s ‘a not so bad, it’s a nice ‘a place – a shuddup ya face!”
It’s important, especially as part of the healing process, to set goals for yourself.
They can be as ambitious as you want, though they should be grounded in reality. Otherwise, you’re chasing illusions, or worse, delusions, and setting yourself up for more grief.
Get Over It
Eventually, whatever has happened, you’re going to need to get over it and get on with your life.
If your down on your arse, gettign over it. Might well be the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do, but hey, life was never meant to be easy.