I recently read an interesting article titled “Single, Smart, Over 40 — and Frustrated.” It focused on women over 40 who were struggling to find a decent partner, and suggested that part of the problem was that many men feel intimidated by independent women.
The most telling line in the article was this:
“We’re looking for guys because we want them in our lives, not because we need them,” she said. “But there are a lot of guys who want to feel needed. And they’re the guys we won’t possibly attract.”
Here’s the reality: yes, men do want to feel needed, but more importantly, they want to feel valued.
Men generally want to be appreciated first as men, and then as partners. That’s not insecurity or outdated thinking; it’s human nature. Like it or not, it’s wired into us.
Its not a competition
Men aren’t looking for competition in a relationship. Most don’t want to be out-drunk, out-manned, or constantly challenged on masculine ground.
That’s not a “caveman” mindset—it’s about balance and chemistry.
We like to help
Letting a man do things for you doesn’t make you weak. Simple gestures holding a door open, pulling out a chair, taking the lead occasionally aren’t signs of inequality. They’re expressions of mutual respect and attraction.
No its not money either
And let’s be clear: modern men don’t expect to financially support women. Independence is attractive.
A career, ambition, and financial security are positives not threats. No man feels emasculated when a woman offers to split the bill or picks up the tab.
But if you want a partner, act like you want partnership, not independence at all costs. Relationships aren’t about proving you don’t need someone they’re about choosing to want each other.
Just remember men want to be with a smart successful woman. Just as much as woman want to be with a smart successful man.
