As a guy, you have done all it takes to get your game together. You have found a terrific woman. Now, the question when is it time to get down on one knee, and to marry the girl of your dreams and not the Mother in Law. Let’s take a look at hoe to marry a girl, and make sure you’re not marrying your mother in law.
How to Marry a Girl
Men in general do not spend endless hours contemplating the thought of marriage. And it really takes a lot to consider what goes into a marriage proposal.
Getting engaged can be exciting and nerve-wracking. So let’s consider the signs when a man is ready to propose to his girl :
You are Attracted to Her
First and foremost, you must be sexually attracted to her. This is not a shallow thought. If your woman is not the object of your desire, after a while of experiencing the monotonous daily activities of marriage, you might begin to look elsewhere.
You’re Also Good Friends
Many men sometimes have trouble understanding what love is, it’s just not all about romance and sweeping her off her feet and, no, it’s not about sex either.
It’s actually primarily about something men should know and understand quite well; friendship, companionship – you’re going to be spending the rest of your life together, so first and foremost, make sure you’re good friends and enjoy hanging out together.
You have Spent Time Getting to Know Her
This is not judged by a calendar time. For instance, a man and a woman may be in a long-distance relationship and may see each other two days a month. This may be the same as the couple who lives two bus stops apart, where the husband works as a doctor and the wife is a nurse.
What matters is that you have seen your woman at her best and her worst. Then you are in a good position to speculate what the future holds for you both.
You have Similar Long Term Goals
You must have similar goals for the future with each other. If future goals seem the polar opposite, then someone will have to compromise.
Be sure, also, to discuss children. It’s often the case that one party wants to have children and the other does not. This is really something you should find out before getting married.
You Enjoy Doing Activities Together
You may be glued to the football while she indulges in a day-long shopping spree. This is normal enough as men and women often have different interests but you must also be able to enjoy doing activities together.
This could be outdoor pursuits like walking or riding a bike or just snuggling up on the couch, ordering pizza and watching a movie.
Couples who enjoy doing activities together tend to stay together for a long time.
Nemesis to a Happy marriage
Now comes the difficult part. When a man proposes to his woman there is someone else who makes up the equation. It is the future mother in law. Some men are terrified of their mother in law and end up being a real klutz every time they are around her.
Now, you might be lucky and get a delightful mother in law, one that thinks you’re the best thing that ever happened to her daughter, who sticks up for you and says her daughter never gives you enough respect. You could get one of those, and you’d be one of the lucky ones.
But what if you end up falling in love with the perfect woman but end up with the mother in law from hell? Y’know, one of those old school stand-up comedian mothers in law?
Here are some tips on how to deal with a difficult mother in law :
Whilst we want to give you tips for how to marry a girl, we also want to give you tip sot dealing with a difficult mother in law.
Try to See Things from Your Wife’s Perspective
This is a lot to ask of any man. After all, it is hard to put yourself in another’s shoes, especially when you are constantly attacked. It is important, however, to remember that your wife is always caught in the middle.
Her mother will see the break in their relationship as something to be insecure about. This was her darling daughter and suddenly a man came and snatched her baby away.
She may even view you as a predator. But, men you need to do your part.
Before you request your wife to do anything, reverse the roles and see how you would want her to react if your mother was creating all the drama. Avoid getting angry with her because she has an unbearable mother.
Understanding Your Mother in Law’s Motives
If you feel that your mother in law wants to put a damper on your marriage, there is nothing better than ensuring she doesn’t get her wish.
Avoid playing into her hands. Her motive is to see you break and get angry. If you go about your business unaffected and completely happy, there is not much she can do thereafter.
The best defence is being a happy husband who seems to be oblivious to all the drama. If your wife is happy at home, then she is not likely to pay attention or listen to any criticism.
Even when your mother in law is spitting her poison remain lighthearted. Imagine she is only joking.
If you react with anger, it means that she is getting her way. If you smile and dismiss what she just says, she will quit playing this game eventually.
Compromising and Creating a United Front
All this time it seems like you have been doing all the giving, but you can, and should, in fact, ask your wife to set some boundaries as well.
This doesn’t mean that your wife should become estranged from her mother. It is not unreasonable, however, to set some limits.
You are a separate family now and you may desire to spend time with your wife as one family unit. You may not be interested in trudging to her mother’s house every Sunday for dinner. Avoid asking your wife to make drastic changes, but cutting back a little will do both of you some good.
You must remember it is your responsibility to ensure the happiness of your family, so don’t let your mother in law dent your family happiness. She may want to slowly whittle away, give her the exact opposite.
Show you have a family that is deeply connected and strong, which means she is just wasting her time.
Just remember that you cannot control your mother in law, but you can control your reactions to her. Make certain these reactions serve the best interest of your family and remember its how to marry a girl and not your mother-in-law.